I've started to view ambition differently than I have in the past. Before now I always saw it as something crucial to getting things done. Now I'm not sure if it's a good thing. I'm really starting to come at things from a more Buddhist perspective. "Desire is the source of all suffering." What is ambition if not desire? Is there a simpler way of approaching the world?
I'm trying to finish this thesis, but I've begun asking myself why it's so important to me. What am I satisfying by completing the degree? Is it simply an ambition or is it something better than that? I certainly desire to finish, and I've experienced more suffering than anticipated. I'm not sure how all of this balances out.
2 comments:
One of my best friends is a thesis shy of her master's degree. She just decided that she learned all she wanted and was over the whole process. She felt quite liberated by the decision and hasn't regretted it once in ten years.
On the other hand, as those wise sages the Circle Jerks once said, it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't. And you need it to teach, right?
Yeah, if I'm going to teach above high school level, I do. It's just that with all the problems I've run into disorder-wise I'm not even sure I can handle teaching college. It has been a rough summer.
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